Christmas Mischief
by Nemo Nobody
Summary: Shikamaru is a Lazy Claus and Temari is a long time naughty list member. So now Shikamaru must help Temari get on the nice list or he'll lose his job.


**Christmas Mischief **

**Summary: **Shikamaru is a Claus like Santa Claus however he is given the task of starting long time Naughty girl, Temari, on her path to being nice. Shikamaru isn't so jolly especially since he has only 25 days and his job depends on it. Things will get even moer troublesome when he brings along some Elves, A Frost and a Reindeer. It's like a being a Claus out of the North Pole.

**Warning: Will contain teenage things and bashing Christmas and Santa Claus and stuff but I don't mean any of it, it will get better.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto cause if I did it would be called "Shikamaru"**

The North Pole is a wonderful place the first 69 years but then it's just cold. The North Pole was a huge village full of elves, arctic animals and Clauses. The buildings looked like something out of a child's story book and just as corny also. Everything was red and green and other bright colors that give you headaches. Snow was everywhere to the point that not only was it a white Christmas but also a white new year, a white valentines, a white Easter, a white Halloween and a white thanksgiving. There were Christmas trees everywhere and so many lights that most people would claw their eyes out. So over all it sucked ornaments.

Well in this frost bitten wonderland lived the little confused elves who think making toys for minimum wage and max hours is fun and the Horny Reindeer along with the insane penguins and cola addicted Polar bears but alas that is not all. There are also a couple Dozen Frosts and a couple dozen Clauses. The Frosts are the cold hearted people who live to cause blizzards and make falling spikes of death. The Clauses like me are people who think its okay to stalk everyone in the world, judge them and then break into their house to leave them toys or heaps of coal. Does anybody see anything wrong with this picture?

Also I forgot the chronically depressed snowman that randomly starts singing every time someone talks to him. The only semi normal people in the North Pole are the abominable snowmen who have anger issues and an appetite for reindeer and elf flesh. Again does anybody see something wrong with this? Seriously?

Well to our story.

Santa's workshop is the corner stone of the North Pole. It's huge, it's Christmassy and it's a factory manned by caffeine addicted Elves. Currently some of the elves were on break and the others were being dragged back to minimum wage. It was common for anybody off duty to hang out at the Gingerbread house, a candy parlor. It was always bustling with elves, frosts and clauses and the occasional snowman accidentally committing suicide by hot cocoa.

In the corner sat three elves, a Frost and a Claus.

The Elves each wore different uniforms. A spiky blond haired one wore a purple jump suit and brown gloves with many pockets and a tool belt along with a hard hat sitting at his side, this was a Workshop elf. The brown haired chubby one wore a green shirt and pants with a white apron and a red and white stripped chef's hat, this was a Bakery elf. The third and last elf wore a white jacket covered in dirt and other stuff. He wore a baseball hat with "Reindeer rule!" on it, this was a Stable elf.

The Frost looked like a frost, albino skin and raven black hair with deep blue eyes and wore a black shirt and leather jacket. The Claus didn't look anything like the father Claus. He looked about 17 and had black hair, no beard and was skinny. However he did wear a thin red jacket with white lining and black sneakers with black jeans.

"Man, only 26 days till Christmas, Believe it!" The workshop elf shouted as he punched the air with a goofy grin.

"Shut up Naruto." The frost muttered in an irritated voice as he looked at his frozen coffee.

"Hey you can't tell me what to do!" Naruto shouted back as he stood on the table but Sasuke merely stood up and he was able to glare at Naruto right back, reminding Naruto of the substantial height difference.

"Hey cool it guys, payday is coming up." The Stable elf reminded his friends as he scratched a small reindeer next to him.

"Yeah Kiba but so are Evaluations. I just had my mental this morning." Shikamaru pointed out.

"Really Shikamaru? You are so fired." The Bakery Elf chuckled.

The Claus, now known as Shikamaru, sighed. "Now Why do you think that Chui?" He replied to the joke.

"Didn't you get drunk last year and call the cops on yourself." Naruto piped up with a raised eye brow to which Shikamaru shrugged.

"Liquor cabinet was open." Shikamaru stated nonchalantly. "Let the old man fire me, I'll just move to the South Pole."

"Dude the South Pole sucks; I was going to kill myself if I didn't get that transfer." Kiba commented.

Chui nodded at Kibas's statement. "Yeah dude besides the big man doesn't fire people but he will demote you to Yeti duty." Chui added to the summary of the South Pole.

"That would be troublesome." Shikamaru surmised before a white haired elf wearing a black clothe around his mouth walked over while reading "Icha Icha Christmas Special".

"Hey Kakashi Sensei." Everyone greeted.

"Yo." the white haired Elf greeted. "Hey Shikamaru, the big guy wants to see you and he isn't so jolly." Kakashi stated without looking up from his book.

"Aw dude, he'll hang you with holly." Naruto rhymed with a chuckle

"Rhyme one more time and you'll gonna die." Sasuke threatened as he cracked his knuckle.

"I know I'm gonna die but I like Pi." Chui blurted and a reindeer snorted.

"Chui don't exclaim this is so lame." Shikamaru rhymed one last time.

"Enough Rhyming, Now go see the big man." Kakashi instructed before he walked off.

"Well cya guys later and remember I spiked the cider." Shikamaru warned as he stood up and walked out the door.

"4 shots of cider please." Naruto ordered.

* * *

Santa's house like the rest of the North Pole is a wonderful place for the first 69 years, and then it's just bad architecture. It was a cylinder shape with a green and red ornament as the roof. It was made out of gingerbread and had candy cane supports holding up the walls and presents as stairs. Also it was half covered in snow.

Shikamaru sighed as he walked up the stairs and went inside. "What do you want?" Shikamaru asked lazily as he saw the head honcho sitting by the blazing fire.

"Just a little chat that's all Shikamaru." Santa Claus replied as he motioned towards the green arm chair facing the fire also. "Would you like some hot cocoa?" The bearded man asked as Shikamaru sat down in the chair.

"Just cut to the chase or better yet the me leaving part." Shikamaru stated as he propped his arm up on the chair to hold his head.

"Fine. You had a mental evaluation this morning to see if you are in Christmas spirit sadly though you're Christmas spirit is low this year." The red suited man stated.

"How low?" Shikamaru asked boardly.

"Well the requirement is jolly but you came in at "Scrooge." which is surprising since you've never failed a Christmas Evaluation. Any reason?" The diabetic asked.

"Eh, it just gets old." Shikamaru yawned.

"Okay but I would like to go over some pictures you were asked to draw." Santa suggested and Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "You were asked to draw the elves." Santa stated as he held up a picture.

"I did." Shikamaru yawned again.

"Yes but they are being whipped and one is dead from exhaustion and another has fallen in the gears." Santa pointed before pulling out another. "They asked you to draw a Claus. You drew me peeking at ladies in the shower."

"Come on, we've all done that." Shikamaru replied

"You were asked to draw the Christmas spirit." Santa said

"Yeah." Shikamaru mumbled

"It's hanging itself." Santa said weakly

"Your point?" Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.

"My point is that you are a Claus who lost his Ho Ho Ho and is now a scrooge. However answer me this. Do you think what we're doing is nice or naughty?"

Shikamaru stared at the fire before sighing. "I think there's no point anymore. Every year things get worse and we don't even officially exist so why do anything any more?" Shikamaru asked/stated.

"I am sorry to hear you say that however we don't give up. So you have a special assignment." Santa began as he pulled out a file.

"Assignment?" Shikamaru asked, not liking the sound.

"Yes."

* * *

A half a hour later Shikamaru walked back into the Gingerbread house where his friends still sat, empty shot glasses littering the area. Naruto and Kiba were singing and dancing on the table in a slurred drunken manner. Chui was attacking the giant candy Santa statue while Sasuke just added another empty glass to the collection around him while muttering "Baka...baka...baka..." over and over while staring at the table. Kakashi was flirting with a waitress elf quite successfully.

"Oh Kringle...kill me." Shikamaru muttered as he paused, took a deep breath and walked over to the booth.

"Hic' Hey...Naruto 'hic' how'd it go with the 'hic' Easter bunny." Naruto asked woozily as he stumbled to stay on balance.

"Pack up...we're going to Kansas." Shikamaru explained before walking off.

"Hell yeah, Road trip baby!" Kiba shouted "We need 20 shots to go!"

* * *

**Okay here it is. I kinda rushed it but I need to get this going. Please review but no flaming and I am sorry if I offended anyone with this story. Also if you like this please check out my two other Shikamaru/Temari stories.I know there are spelling and grammer mistakes but I fix them soon, okay.  
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**I will try to get chapters done fast but Reviews give me more motivation and inspiration. Well Cya.**


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